What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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