She's JV to your varsity
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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