I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
