Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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