Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
