you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
