So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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