I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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