My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
