Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize