I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
