And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
