My sheets look like a crime scene.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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