Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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