soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
