Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize