people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize