Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
