smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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