I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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