You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
