Define "chronic" masturbator.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
