I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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