K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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