Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
