I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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