I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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