Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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