pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
