they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
