I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
