i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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