no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
