I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
