Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
