i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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