I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
