I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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