i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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