I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize