I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
