I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize