How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
