my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
