i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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