I wanna bring you to show and tell
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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