The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
