1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
