I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
