you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
