and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
