they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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