this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
