i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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