She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
