I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
