He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
