You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
