these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
