dude i'm inner monologue high
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize