TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize