forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize