Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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