I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
