Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
