tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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