We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's get the cat blown out
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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