remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
