There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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