Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
