i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
