i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
