i can't believe i had my finger in that
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
