if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i think i have herpe
just one?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
