i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
